I can’t get enough of these. I may never answer my phone again.
“My name ___. I tried to, you know arrange Edwardo(?) in a violin(?) for my daughter. She is 81(?) years old. I wondering you know you can anyway can send me you know application form for your rental and all the ___. Just give me a call first you know. My number is #### or call my cell.”
“Dan this is joe i am headed over why um call me (?) that’s not supposed to be okay i have a set of canada.”
Seen here is a ferrofluid reacting to magnetic fields; this is an art piece by Sachiko Kodama. Ferrofluids are, most simply, nano-sized pieces of iron in a suspension mixture with something else - water, for example.
It’s not all for art - ferrofluids are used for many practical applications, such as providing a liquid magnetic seal around your computer’s hard drive, keeping it clean.
I signed up for a phone service a few months ago which takes my voice mails and transcribes them, then sends them to my email. I friggin’ LOVE it - listening to voice mails is a huge pain, especially since many of them go something like this:
“Hi, um… my string is broken? Can you come to the school to fix it?” click
I like getting all my messages in one place, all written down, nice and tidy. However, some transcriptions get pretty interesting. Most often, I can figure out what they’re really talking about, but some messages remain mystifying:
“Hey driven this is finished friday the hon you told me to pick comes um (?) you look pretty awesome the shop i’m i turn the water on the music now can you please give me uh um i’m going to list from the water when i do for monday would and I will pick up the new 1 in the evening from the shop okay hi give me call my name at [phone #] when they think.”
context clue: water = viola, music now = music store
“Hi. Good morning, Rozanne. This is Nancy Tiffany Bong’s(?) mom. We’d like to let you know we don’t consider to rent a ___ this year. And I will have one I want for her. And I would like to ask you whether you have a boat for sail or for wind a boat. Please call me back, [phone #].”
context clue: boat for sail = bow for sale
“Um hello ever seeing this is jody and um i’m not sure yet about terrorists and uh darkman so um i know that ross he’s not going to re news a few they are gonna play their instruments today so if you wanted to stop at um uh school start missed maybe um i would suggest maybe.”
context clue: terrorists and darkman = Terrace and Dartmouth Elementary
“Hi my name to my son uh jeff tonight and squeeze in jackson technology even today wire and then put them you and the beginning of the deal um and ah no uh i if they would estimate but you know things that to you how uh they couldn’t pay it back or something like like that because you are well.”
context clue: I have no idea
Whoever transcribes these, I hope they’re not too afraid of my customers.
For your enjoyment: a painting by Raphael, circa 1510, with a deteriorated instrument, member of the Viol Da Gamba family, at the feet of St. Cecilia. Some advances since then: a longer fingerboard for greater playing range, and a concave bow, to accept greater pressure to the strings. The modern bow profoundly affected the volume capabilities of the instrument, which helped develop the violin into the solo instrument it is today.
School is out tomorrow, and I’m ready to have a few relaxing weeks ahead.
Hi Rosie,
We met the other night at Andrew’s show in Dallas. I was talking it over with Andrew and he’d be interested in making some modifications to a violin the he sometimes plays. Basically he needs it tuned up, but while doing that he was wondering if you could make some sort of refrigerated compartment for him to keep his lunch meats in (namely turkey and ham sometimes roast beef). That would be phase 1 of the project. Phase 2 would be attaching a hidden/silenced 9mm in case anyone gets out of hand at a show.
Let me know if you’re interested and what kind of quote we’re looking at.
Aaron Miller
(That’s me in the audience! Right behind striped shirt guy.)
Hello Aaron,
Thanks for getting in touch with me. You’re in luck! My coworkers at the violin store are gun crazy (that’s how we run things here in Texas), and we regularly find new and interesting ways to convert every day objects into compartments for concealed guns. I’ve already got several models, that will work for sizes ranging from .22 pistols to long barrel .38. I also have a modified chinrest that accepts an extended clip. I think it’s great that Andrew feels the need to protect himself - the crowd last night was nothing short of an angry mob. I’ve always felt that many of his lyrics had a pro-second amendment tone.
While I don’t have a great deal of experience with refrigeration, I have rigged violins for pyrotechnic shows and converted basses into canoes. Would you be interested in either of these services rather than a lunchmeat compartment?
For payment, I would require an oscillating horn loaded speaker driver from a 1972 yamaha upright electric organ.
Thanks, and I look forward to working with you,
Rozie
Hey. Just getting back in touch. Yeah, I guess Texas was pretty crazy. Turns out Andrew was just kidding about the gun thing, but it did give him an idea for a high concept album about a musician turned spy. So that’s pretty cool.
He’s still interested in the refrigeration stuff though. If you could do that, we don’t have an oscillating horn loaded speaker driver from a 1972 yamaha upright electric organ, but we could pay in money. Some places still accept that.
Aaron
(Photos courtesy of Andrew Slaton. Thanks Andrew! And thanks to Andrew Bird, too, for being born and stuff.)
Ideal for four-year-old fingers.
I’m listening to Andrew Bird right now, and if you’re not, you’re missing out.
I feel like I might turn a corner and encounter something like this at any moment.
I don’t usually work on these mammoths, but I did tussle with this guy recently. It took two weeks to cut the bridge and set up the strings.
The problem was this:
The strings wouldn’t stay in the tailpiece because the holes were too large, and I couldn’t find any kind of attachment that would help connect the strings, short of getting a new tailpiece. In an attempt to save the customer some cash, I decided to try and make some washers for the strings.
So, I glued some sheets of heavy duty plastic together:
Cut them into circles and cut holes in the middle:
And the strings stayed in place, like magic:
I’m crossing my fingers that they will continue to work like magic, or he may need an entire new tailpiece. If you ever take up this instrument, don’t bring it to me. I’ll set it on fire.
Sidenote: Don’t ever use Gorilla Glue on an instrument repair. The person who had this before me did not know this:
You know, unless you like ugly instruments.